Winning in sports is great and easy to celebrate; but losses can be tough. Hurt feelings, embarrassment and injuries are all a part of the game—and so are your reactions to them.
When your child loses a game or has a bad performance, the last thing you want to feel is helpless or that you made them feel worse. Instead, it’s important to view adversity as valuable opportunities to revitalize and reinforce your kid’s confidence and ability to bounce back.
Here are 5 simple ways to do exactly that:
GIVE THEM A HUG
Hugs are so disarming. They instantly reduce anger and produce comfort. Hugging is also a great way to remind your athlete that you love them and that you are there for them no matter what.
PRAISE THEIR EFFORT
There are so many x-factors in sports that make it impossible to predict the outcomes. The only thing that your athlete has complete control over is their effort. And that is what you should praise. It’s as simple as saying, “You played hard. I’m proud of you.” Because at the end of the day, your child wants to make you proud. So when you tell them that you are proud of them, it dramatically softens the blow of any loss.
DON’T LET THEM QUIT
It’s very common for kids to want to quit after getting beat or when they don’t see any improvement. Don’t let them. Quitting is disrespectful and sets a bad precedent for your kid’s future endeavors. Tell your child that they need to respect their teammates, coach and themselves by finishing the season.
Extra tip: Even if your athlete is sidelined by an injury, it’s important for them to stay on top of their recovery and cheer at the team’s remaining games.
HELP STRENGTHEN THEIR WEAKNESSES
Shocking news: Oftentimes, your kid doesn’t think you know what you’re talking about. That’s why they don’t take your advice. Or, they feel like you’re just picking on them. So when it comes to your kid’s sports weaknesses, do not offer any unsolicited advice. If they ask for your opinion, great; but if not, keep you advice to yourself.
Your next best option is to remind them what their coach thinks they should work on. So for instance, you could say, “Coach XYZ suggests that you work on your speed. Do you think you and I could practice running at the park? Or do you think some private lessons might help?”
KEEP YOUR COOL
When your athlete is upset about a loss, it’s not the time to express your anger too. It is the time to stay calm and be empathetic. In the heat of the moment, take a deep breath and give them a hug, praise their effort, and don’t let them quit.
If you would like to gain more insights on how to supercharge your kid’s athletic confidence and performance, please go to ArtOfSportsParenting.com. Or if you’d like to ask me a specific question, feel free to contact me.
Until next time…
Cheers to your awesome kid,
Coach Martise : )